How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
| Breed | Response |
| Afghan | Light bulb? What light bulb? |
| Australian Shepherd | One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. |
| Beagle | How many cookies do I get? |
| Border Collie | Just one. And he'll rewire the house while he's at it. |
| Boxer | If I could stop wiggling my butt long enough to quit falling off the chair... |
| Bulldog | Just one. But it takes them three years to do it. |
| Cat | I don't waste my time with these childish jokes. |
| Corgi | I can't reach the stupid lamp. |
| Dachshund | Well, first get me a ladder and a treat... no, you took too long. I want TWO treats and I'll do it... No, not that treat, the other kind. Geez, do I have to do everything? (Of course, followed by The Look.) |
| Dalmatian | Just one, but it will really hate the new bulb. |
| Doberman | Immediately decides to change the brand of light bulb and find a more efficient form of lighting -- perhaps a fluorescent bulb. |
| German Shepherd | I'm kinda busy right now I have to chase the cat, protect the kids, herd the horses, beg for food and take a nap. I'll add the light bulb to my To Do list... |
| Golden Retriever | I'll be glad to change the light bulb for you, but first can't we play catch with the tennis ball, or Frisbee -- and then I want to lick your face and rest my head in your lap and look up at you with my sad eyes. What? You're changing the light bulb yourself -- you didn't have to do that -- but I looooove you so much for being my friend and doing that. |
| Good Ol' Southern Hound Dog | Huh? |
| Irish Setter | It only takes one, but it will put in a really dim bulb. |
| Jack Russell Terrier |
Two, but the job never gets done -- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done. |
| Malamute | Let him do it. You can pet me while he's busy. |
| Pit Bull Terrier | Jump and take hold of old light bulb. Now, let go of old light bulb... I said LET GO OF LIGHT BULB. Please???? Let go of the light bulb?????? |
| Pomeranians | Don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a German Shepherd in to do the job for them while they're out. |
| Pug | Er, two. Or maybe one. No -- on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you? |
| Rottweiler | Just one. You want to make something of it? |
| Schipperke | It's your light bulb -- change it yourself. Unless... is there food involved?? |
| Shiba-inu | Zero. Shiba's aren't afraid of the dark. |
| Springer | That thing I just ate was a light bulb? |
| Standard Poodle | None. Go get human, sit under it, look up and point it out -- then go lie down in disgust that it took so long. |
| Weimaraner | Light bulb? You want ME to change a LIGHT BULB?? |
| Wolfdog | Let me see that light bulb, anyway. What's it made of, what's inside of it, what will happen if I drop it. I might change it, but let me think about it. You're not trying to tell me what to do, are you? Hey, I just had a great idea. I think I'll change that light bulb ... |